|For a couple months I've been feeling great. Sure, I have my ups and downs and my little moods, but overall I've been great! Tonight though ...|
I don't know exactly what I'm feeling. Melancholy mixed with nostalgia; a general sadness where I just feel so small and insignificant and life is this huge thing rushing by, like a train not stopping at the station and I'm left alone in the dark with old tattered newspapers blowing by. Fleeting dreams, fading from memory and colors slowly dithering into greyscale. Hopeless, like everything is always the same and will never change. Plodding one foot in front of the other and getting nowhere. My joy is simply rented with a due date, to be turned in when the time comes with nothing queued to replace it. Not able to enjoy the present because my future seems bleak, uncertainty turning to pessimism. Trying to be hopeful but lacking the energy - so tired. Wanting to be held and comforted but not by anybody I know for that is so shortsighted and seems to exacerbate the problem. Somebody, something new. Send me an angel and let me know everything is alright.
I am feeling a bit better. A good night's sleep helped. Hopefully my mood continues to pick up throughout the day.